A nudge into something interesting

I was nudged in my side by my wife in a church pew at a Sunday service, “you should do that”. She was encouraging me to attend Alpha through the church after seeing it on the screen. Jess was one of the many people that had nudged me in the past 6 months to look a bit closer at my faith and beliefs. If I’ve learnt anything in our relationship together, it is to listen to my wife and I often need strong encouragement. So, I signed up to Alpha, not sure what to expect, but went with an open mind and the vague feeling I was going to be bible bashed and told what to believe.

What I found from joining a weekly meeting was a group of people seeking meaning, with big questions, all being explored in a tired church hall on a Tuesday evening in Plymouth. The welcome I felt each week was powerful and warm, feeling that I belonged and was safe to ask the questions that have itched me for many years and I have refused to look at. I found that each week I looked forward to the session and left each session with a lot of questions to ponder throughout the week.

On the first evening we were asked one question to explore - If Gods existence was proven to be undeniably true, what one question would you ask them? Many were able to give such prompt answers – what’s the meaning of life? what’s it all about? why did this and that happen? To this day, 6 months later, I am still stuck on what to ask. 1 question. How can I boil everything down to one question. I can come up with hundreds. I often find myself pondering the question at completely random times. The fact that we were only allowed one has been a great thought provoker and I hope one day to tell the leader of Alpha what my question will be. This in a way summed up Alpha for me, better questions than answers and enjoying the journey.  

Alpha didn’t feel like your typical course, with expected outcomes a certificate and something to put on my LinkedIn at the end. It didn’t come at me with pressure or prepackaged answers. It felt more like being invited into a conversation than a classroom. Each week, we gathered with a nice bite to eat, which made it feel more like a family meal than a meeting, watched a short talk, and then talked openly. We’d check in with each other and see how their week had been, we’d share stories and laugh as we ate.

In a small group discussion, I met people from all walks of life. All at different stages and different reasons for being there. Some felt like they had been in church their whole lives and knew all the ‘right’ things to say. Others seemed more distant, but open to asking. A few, like me, were somewhere in between searching, unsure, maybe a little skeptical. And yet, the room was full of honesty. We laughed, we disagreed respectfully, and we asked real questions, the kind that most people are too polite or too nervous to ask out loud, especially in church. I would always start every question with “sorry I’m going to ask the annoying question”.

What surprised me most was how safe it felt. No one tried to “fix” my doubts or steer me in a certain direction. The leaders simply listened and shared their own journeys without pretense. There was something deeply human about it, to sit in a space with strangers and admit we don’t have all the answers, but still feel like we’re allowed to ask.

Over the weeks, something shifted. I began to think about faith not just as a set of beliefs, but as a relationship. We explored who Jesus is, what prayer means, and whether there’s more to life than just the visible, tangible world. I wrestled with a lot of those ideas, but I never felt alone in the wrestling. It turned out that the time of Alpha correspondent with quite big life changes and challenges for me. I believe that the plot meant that this was meant to happen at this time and it has helped me to navigate a turbulent time.

Looking back, Alpha didn’t give me all the answers, but it gave me a place to ask the right questions and that made all the difference. It helped me see that faith isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about taking a step, being curious, and letting yourself be open to the possibility that God might actually be real and present and closer than you think.

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering about the bigger picture, about God, about purpose, about why we’re here, I’d honestly recommend Alpha. It’s not flashy or preachy. It’s real. And sometimes, real is exactly what we need.

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