What Helps you Join in?

I've always believed that everyone deserves the opportunity to hear about Jesus. Growing up alongside my younger brother, who has complex additional needs, and through supporting children at churches and events, I've increasingly found myself thinking about what that looks like in practice.

Because sometimes joining in isn't quite as simple as walking through the door.

Joining In Looks Different

It's very easy to look around a church service, children's group or event and decide who is listening. Someone sitting still, looking towards the front and joining in at all the right moments? Definitely listening. Someone fiddling with something, moving around, looking somewhere completely different or stepping out of the room? Maybe not.

Except sometimes it's that second person who can tell you almost everything that was said.

Something I've learnt through supporting people with additional needs is that behaviour is often communication. What might look like distraction or disengagement can be somebody telling us that something about the environment isn't working for them.

Just because somebody needs to move doesn't mean they can't listen. Just because the music feels too loud doesn't mean they don't want to worship. And needing to step away doesn't mean somebody doesn't want to be part of what is happening.

 

A Football and a Conversation About Jesus

I saw this particularly while serving on the kids’ team at HTB Focus.

On the first day, I was paired with a child I knew little about, except that they liked football. We spent a lot of time kicking a ball around, building trust and having small conversations about Jesus. When things became overwhelming, they could use a quieter space and choose when they were ready to join in again.

That evening, their parent emailed to say it was the first time they had ever returned from a kids' group at an event without having a meltdown. Perhaps even more importantly, they wanted to come back the next day.

It reminded me that joining in doesn't always look like sitting through every activity. Sometimes it looks like kicking a football around and talking a bit about Jesus.

Small Things Can Make a Big Difference

Often, accessibility doesn't require something complicated.

Ear defenders can make a loud environment manageable. A fidget can help someone concentrate. Knowing what is happening next can make an unfamiliar group feel much safer. Sometimes simply having the freedom to move, sit somewhere quieter or step outside for a few minutes can make all the difference.

That's something we're beginning to put into practice at Emmanuel. In the cupboard closest to the glass door, you'll now find ear defenders, pop-its, fidgets and wobble cushions, available for anyone who finds them helpful - adults as well as children.

They're small things, but sometimes small things remove surprisingly big barriers.

Jesus says in Mark 10:14, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them."

We might never intentionally stop somebody from coming to Jesus. But sometimes barriers exist that we simply haven't noticed because they aren't barriers for us.

Perhaps one of the best questions we can learn to ask is not:

"Why aren't they joining in?"

But instead:

"What would help you join in?"